Joke of the day

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears laughing!

Q: Why did the golfer have two pairs of pants?
A: Because he had a hole-in-one!

A man died and went Below...
He was met by the Devils assistant. Who said "You have three options for where you will spend eternity."
He led the man to Door #1 opened it and there he saw everyone knee deep in poop. He said next option...
He was led to Door #2, as it opened he saw everyone up to their necks in poop. He said next... He was led to Door #3 where he found everyone having a cup of coffee in ankle deep poop! He said without hesitation "Okay I choose #3". Just then a supervisor came in and said " Okay coffee break is over, back on your heads!".

At three o'clock one morning, a veterinary surgeon was awoken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line.

"That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."